Busy Weekend...

This past weekend was more than busy! I've been trying to get a cold for a few days now and Emma has had it for about a week so we haven't felt too good at my house. We had a lot of plans for the weekend. Two of my best friends for forever came over on Friday night. It's so fun just hanging out and talking. I love it that they love my girls and my girls love them. Also, its great to have friends who know basically everything about you, your past and your family and still choose to be your friend. Something has to be said for that! 

Saturday was my nephew Walter's first birthday party! I can not believe this sweet boy is already one! It seems like just yesterday that my stepsister, his Momma, called and told me her water had broke. We jumped in the car and drove the two hours to Ft.Bragg and Womack Medical Center. His daddy is in the Army. I had never seen a baby be born before and I have to say it was one of the most special moments of my life. If you don't believe God is for real when you see a child come into this world, something is terribly wrong. His party was done in a Winnie the Pooh theme and was very cute. 

Don't you just love his hat?

  My girls before Walter's Birthday party!

Then finally on Sunday we went to Church and came home and I got to keep Walter for a little while so his mom and Dad could go out on a date. My girls just love it when he comes over. I think they think he's their baby doll. Watching him and Maci interact is hilarious!

Then that afternoon we went to my great grandmas house for a little cookout for Memorial day. I thought it looked funny with three carseats in my van. I guess it's just a little glimpse into the future..

This is my great grandmother and Emma. 

Last Day of School!

It's over and I couldn't be happier! It's been a very challenging year to say the least. I don't think I've ever worked harder at something in my entire life. As I was saying goodbye to these kids today, I did feel a little pang of sadness. I've spent 8 hours a day with these kids since August. We laughed, cried, fought, worked hard, studied and became a family together. Even though I probably wouldn't do it again if you paid me, I'll never forget my very first class and the very first group of kids who ever called me their teacher.

Sleepyheads

This is always my favorite time of the day with my girls. Bedtime! Not because they're going to sleep and are finally being quiet, but because they've just had a bath, they have on clean PJs and are so sweet and snuggley! Maci loves to get in Emma's bed and bounce! She's finally learned how to really jump and they just bounce and giggle for the longest time. Maci isn't much on reading bedtime stories just yet. She likes to tear the pages and Emma gets upset. I love putting them to bed! I just think they look so sweet here...

Who am I?

I know I've posted a lot on here about my different "life struggles." I've had people ask me how I can talk about things that are so personal knowing that others will read it.  I guess that's because I've always been like that. I'm an open book and hopefully from reading about my struggles and challenges, others will gain some understanding and insight into their own lives. That is my hope at least.

I've been very open about my struggles being a first year teacher. I have to say that I've never worked harder at anything in my life. A challenge would be putting it lightly. College in no way prepares you for that first year. Everything I learned in college I used in the first 15 minutes of the first day of school. I've studied, researched, begged and borrowed resources. I've done everything in my power to push my kids-to grow them-to love them-to watch them succeed. In looking at it that way, it's been very rewarding in knowing that I've played a part in the education of a child. I stand firmly in my belief that getting an education is one of the most important things someone will ever do. It marks your spot in the future. 

However, the fire I had at the beginning of the school year is slowly going out. My inspiration has been replaced with thoughts of everything I've missed out on this year with my kids. I missed every single program Emma had at preschool this year-every one. I can't get those precious moments back. She even sang a solo last week and I wasn't there. I've missed vital moments in Maci's young life-she's growing so quickly and it's hard to believe she's 16 months old already! I say all the time that I miss out on my favorite time of the day with my girls-the morning. They are so sweet and lovable in the morning time. I never feed them breakfast or lunch-I never get them ready for the day-I never put them down for a nap. These are all things that I'm just not sure I'm okay with missing out on. I have one more year with Emma before she starts school-that's it. I can't believe my baby will be starting school in one short year! Where has the time gone? 

I've found myself questioning God a lot lately. Why am I here? Why does my job have to be so stressful? Have I given my students enough? Did I push them enough? Do I even have what it takes to be an effective teacher? Are my kids sacrificing for my career? All these things were going through my mind today and then a sweet friend posted something on Facebook that stopped me in my tracks-made me hit my knees and thank God for where I am.

"Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth, would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt? Who am I, that the bright and morning star, would chose to light the way for my ever wandering heart? Who am I, that the eyes who see my sin, would look on me with love and watch me rise again? Who am I, that the voice who calmed the sea, would call out through the rain, and calm the storm in me?" 

This just speaks volumes to me today. It's exactly what I needed to hear. God just seems to put things and people in my path that brings me back down and reminds me that He's still here.

Finally Friday!

It's Friday so that just puts me in a good mood! It's also the last day of End of Grade testing at my school! I don't know what's worse, actually having to take the test or walking around the room monitoring for four hours! Thank goodness it's almost over! 

We've got a big weekend coming up! Cheryl's babeee shower is Saturday and we're having Mother's Day supper at Mama's tomorrow night! I'll post pictures from the shower. I can't wait for her to see her surprises!

In the meantime, I'll share a few new pictures of my sweeties...

Young Moms Connect

I really didn't mean to take a break from the blogging world, life just kinda got in the way! But I'm back and hopefully more faithful to this venture than ever before!

My blog post today is all about a topic/issue that I feel very strongly about. I feel that it is a taboo subject that most people try to sweep under the rug or just pretend isn't happening. Unfortunately, it is very REAL and it's happening all around us-and right here in my school system and in my state.  In fact, the high school that I graduated from has the second highest statistic in our state!

Teenage pregnancy....it's real and it's happening...

Over the past few months, I've had the privilege of participating in a program called Young Moms Connect. It's a grant provided by our state that gives agencies such as Smart Start and the partnership for children the monetary means to go into our local high schools and educate the teen moms about parenting. They provide car seats, clothing, diapers and the resources that these girls so desperately need.

Today my job was to facilitate the whole group discussion. I guess since I'm a teacher they thought I would feel comfortable speaking in front of a large group. But the truth is-I can talk in front of 11 year olds all day long but put me in front of 30 teenagers/adults and the nerves run rampant!

These girls came from all walks of life. Most were in high school and were either expecting or already had a baby. In asking questions and listening to the discussion amongst these girls, I was completely blown away by the strength in that room. Some had endured bullying at the hands of classmates, some had been put out by their parents, others had parents not speaking to them, and some even had to drop out of school because they felt as if they had no other avenues to take. The talked and cried and discussed their thoughts, fears and hopes for the future.  Most wanted to still go to college. One young girl had dreams of moving to Atlanta and becoming part of the NCAE and working as an advocate for the less fortunate. She wanted to become a pediatric nurse and work with babies. She had all this huge ambition before she got pregnant. It thrilled my heart to hear her say she still wanted to do those things. Most of the girls were in agreement that they would continue on, without the support that they so desperately need.

I was very saddened as I left those girls today. I do feel as if I've been put there for a reason, I just don't know it yet. I want more for them-but I know I can't reach every teenage mother in North Carolina.  I truly felt as if Jesus was in that room with us. I thought about the song "He's got the whole world in His hands."  He really does. He's got those girls and their babies right in His hands. As sad as I am that I can't do more for them, it's a comfort for me to know that He has it all worked out. 

Please pray for all these teenage Mommas out there. They need our support-not criticism....