I love to read blogs. I guess that's something Mama got me into. They are so uplifting, so inspiring....Especially my favorite- www.kellyskornerblog.com
She and I have so much in common-She has two girls who are just a little younger than mine. She deals with the day to struggles that I do-the sassyness, the drama, the sweetness, the melt your heartness-all the things that come from having two independent, strong willed blondies....Her post today especially spoke to me...
I worry constantly about things-as I've said in previous posts. But I especially worry if I'm making a mistake as a parent that could forever change my children. They are so impressionable right now-little sponges just soaking up everything I say and do. I know as a parent we all make mistakes, that's just inevitable. But it's the big things that worry me.
Emma is very strong willed and anyone who knows her knows that. She's so smart sometimes that it scares me. She picks up on everything! She's so smart that I find myself trying to reason with her like I would one of my 5th graders. She can comprehend so much. But she is also a child-a rambunctious, full of energy, little ball of fire. I'm so proud of her...but there are times when I've wanted to crawl under the table or whatever I can find to hide under from utter humiliation.
Example: Yesterday afternoon was my mother-in-law's retirement dinner at her school. They put us at a table in front of everyone. It was a very special day for a very special person-they really made a big deal out of it-and she very much deserves it.
But anyway, we sat in front of the room so everyone had a perfect view of us-including the girls. They didn't want to sit still, they didn't want to eat, they didn't want to play in the floor-no, they wanted to run all over, squeal and be loud! I chased the baby for most of the dinner and I picked up books and magazines that she knocked over. I was humiliated. Mostly because of all the people there were fellow teachers. I could only imagine what they were thinking "If she can't control her own children, how does she control her classroom?" I left feeling very embarrassed and out of control. I was upset with the girls-but why? They were just being children. How strange would it have been if they would've just sat there with their hands in their laps like little ladies? Not my girls!!
After reading that above post from Lysa TerKeurst, I don't feel like the world's worst Mama today. I just feel like the Mama of a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I won't pray to have "good" children anymore. I will pray for God to help me raise Emma and Maci as He would have them be-God fearing, obedient, strong willed and happy.